Last week we started talking about the Law of Association and the people around you that affect you day in and day out. If you missed last week’s post, you may want to check it out first, here. This week we are going to continue the discussion with the Law of Association, Part II.
Last week we ended by asking a few key questions for you to consider:
- Who am I around?
- How much time do I spend with these people?
- What are they doing to me?
- Are they positive, looking to the future, helping me grow, supporting me and uplifting m or are they negative, stuck in the past, holding me back, squelching dreams and not interested in their own achievement?
- How do they affect my personal life and my professional life?
- Where do I rank among my 5?
Once you answer these questions, you have to decide, if this is okay or not?
If you are at the top of your 5, be afraid; overtime you will become more like your associates, which means they will pull you down. Generally, you want to be at the bottom of your 5 and have them pull you up. This will happen over and over, you will progress and grow, and then need to seek out new relationships and connections to continue to grow. The people around you move at their own pace, you cannot control their actions. If they want more, they will have to go through the same process as you. Some will move faster, some will move slower, but you need to focus on how you improve yourself and that means spending more time with those higher than you.
If you are okay with where you are and the progress you are making, then maybe you just need to focus on personal development (mindset training, success fundamentals and building skills) and not change your associations at this moment. But if it is not okay, then you have to actively make a change and there are a few methods you can implement:
- Limit your time Only full-time relationships deserve a significant amount of your time; this means you have to limit part-time relationships to part-time time. It is not necessarily their fault, maybe they are not trying to be purposefully negative or drag you down, maybe they do not know what they are doing, but this is about you, not them.
- Disassociation You have to identify the destructive, negative relationships in your life and remove them from your circle. You know when you are watching a movie and the main character is making lots of bad choices, and as the audience you know that his best friend is leading him down the wrong path and the whole movie surrounds how they get into trouble. The whole time you are yelling at the screen (okay, maybe that’s just me) that he should stop being friends with this guy. Now take this critical view and look upon your own life, who is taking you down the wrong path? Who causes trouble in your life?
Now a real quick comment about the two steps above, if you have never done this before, this will be difficult. You will ask yourself, why am I leaving my friends behind? How can I do this? But let me point out, what you do is your choice, what they do is their choice. You choose to grow and get better and be positive and look for opportunities. They can grow with you, but you are not staying with them. The fact of the matter is not every person you spend time with will choose to grow with you.
Stay tuned next week as we complete the Law of Association and talk about one more method for improving your associations.
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